Turns out getting information from admissions people (especially around exam time) takes a lot more time than I thought. I honestly hoped I’d be able to definitively say which degree program I’d be working on in the fall by the end of this week. I’ve essentially made up my mind, I’m just waiting for final confirmation that the coursework will still work with the MLS and a chance to look over the official offer. Apparently this process requires a lot of patience and a LOT of emails – something I’m not particularly good at. Any type of business email scares me, but a business email to someone whom I’ve only met twice is absolutely terrifying! Even the barest 2 paragraph email generally takes a good hour to write and send, because I have to compulsively re-read what I’ve written 15-20 times to make sure nothing could possibly cause offense or make me sound stupid. Sometimes I have someone else read it, and then I revise and read it again myself… and STILL I have to close my eyes and cross my fingers as I hit send!
Aside from the emails, I think I’m doing as well as can be expected. I think I have Senior-itis in reverse – now that I’ve decided I’m going I want to just go and GET THERE ALREADY! I’m getting more and more antsy at work, finding myself daydreaming about a color scheme for my apartment or what I want to do for my dissertation or even just who I might meet at school. I even caught myself planning MEALS one time – it’s still four months away, a little premature don’t you think, self?!
That said, I think my subconscious is more stressed out about this than I realize. I’m not sleeping particularly well, and I keep having these “I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING” nightmares just about every night. For example, a few nights ago, I found myself in an Emergency Room, left alone with a patient who was dying (rather bloodily I might add – I don’t like blood when it comes from other people!) and a bunch of nurses and doctors watching from outside the room telling me I had to save him without their help. I think I woke myself up before he actually died but I was in tears in the dream because the man would die from my lack of medical knowledge!
At least in the waking world I feel like I’m ready – Let’s get started already!